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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Your Thoughts - How to cut the invite list?

OK..., we have an email from a bride-to-be who desperately needs to cut her invite list. The place where she wants to have it just cannot accommodate as many people as she feels obligated to invite. She also knows that some may be insulted at not being invited.

Hmmm. How does she cut her list? Any suggestions?


AmyJean said...

Set a rule and make it consistent. It will be very hard to please everyone, and sure if you had the money you could invite the world, but you have to do what is feasible for you and your betrothed.

My rule is no children (under 18) unless family; and "no house, no spouse, no ring... no bring". Basically, unless you are in a committed relationship with someone we know (and are likely to see again), then we ask that you come alone. I've gotten bashed for this and called a bridezilla by one of my readers, but its our set rule. I'd rather be able to invite a friend from high school than give that space up for a friend's "friend" or random guest. Basically, our goal is to avoid people bringing dates just to bring them.

And just fyi, our guest list is still at 260 :-/

perfect bound said...

Think about it in groups. For example, cut all of your coworkers. Or cut everyone that you haven't spoken with in over 2 years. When there is logic to your cut you can simple explain by saying, "You're not alone. We cut everyone from... work, far away..." and so on. Make a rule and stick to it. I agree!

Engaged & Enraged said...

i agree with perfectbound - i was definitely able to cut out a whole table of people (approx 10) by inviting NO ONE from work. i think some people were disappointed (since i have friends here) but i told them we are having a small wedding and that it was either i invite them or my grandma. who can argue with that?

Rachel said...

When we made our list, it seemed like having around 150 would be a large wedding... Well, according to my future mother-in-law, that's small. They're from a small town and she wanted to invite everyone who my fiancee ever knew!! I thought it was ridiculous, but according to her, some of these people would get their feelings hurt. After going back and forth, we decided to invite the family and friends/co-workers we're close with. And while we weren't able to invite his junior high math teacher, I think there will be less hurt feelings than his mother thinks.
People will understand that if you aren't close with them and you don't invite them to your wedding - they won't get upset or mad. And if they do, well... they're just being stupid!!

By the way, my future mother-in-law is taking out an announcement in their local paper to let people know who didn't get an invitation.

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